Having a support network around you is vital to get through all of this. Different people will do different things for and with you - some people have been very good at writing to me, others have prefered to see me face to face and have popped in with news of the outside world.

I have found it especially hard to be away from work. I really enjoy what I do and feel that I'm missing out. Friends at work have been so good at keeping in touch and letting me know what is going on and it will help me to come back to work when that time comes.

I'm aware that some people find it hard to know what to say to you, but I have been surprised by others frankness and stories of breast cancer in their family. Once it becomes common knowledge, you'll be surprised at just how many people know someone with cancer.

Keeping a diary has been useful to keep track of things and to express my feelings. I often use selected contents of my diary to kick-start conversations with friends and family. If you're not comfortable with writing, then think about an audio/video tape. I have a feeling that it will be good to look back in years to come. Having the time to think about myself and what I need to do to help myself has been one of the biggest windfalls of this illness. It has given me the time to reflect on my life and to understand some of the needs I have, which I've not realised before, because I've been too busy to be aware of them. Sounds deep and it is. Make the most of it. Why wait until you are ill to do this?

Some extracts of emails that I have had - still bring back the emotion of it all.

"I really wish I was an angel because I would be more in the know about all those mysterious questions that I would like answers to. Please keep your chin up so you can stay as strong in spirit as possible. Try not to cry too much let me and all those who love you do it for you. I love you muchly."

"We got your card and are very sorry to hear the news - if there is anything we can do to help then don't hesitate to ask us.When exactly will you be going into hospital and which one? You must be feeling pretty shell-shocked and worried. But it is amazing what can be achieved these days. My cousin is just finishing off treatment for breast cancer and the prognosis is very good. Keep thinking positively."

We are both holding you in our thoughts and wishes and of course thinking of Tim also. Please let us know if you want anything, even just a chat on the phone and remember we are thinking of you."

"Please be strong Sue, I know that together you can fight this. There are so many people that love and care for you, and are right now ready to fight with you. Ready to fight for you.Don't bottle up all your feelings, emotions, be they good or bad. Let the bad feelings, the negativity go. Ride with it then toss it away. If you feel like grinding your teeth, and screaming like a wolf then DO IT. ( Bad for your teeth I know, but it will make you feel better!) If you feel like crying DO IT. Don't be afraid to follow what your body, and your instinct are telling you. Listen to your body, listen to what is in your heart, soul and mind. Keep a diary, a journal. For when those thoughts are rattling around in your head, and you too afraid to utter the words. When your wide awake at 2 in the morning, Write them down. Write down what your feeling, so that when your too afraid to share with others, you might be able to show them what it is that is bothering you. But most of all, remember we are all here for you. Remember that every minute of the day, every hour of the day, you are in my thoughts.BE STRONG, and I hope to see you soon."

"It is good to speak to you, to look at you, and to know you. You are here for a special purpose in all the lives you have touched and will touch, and you have a great deal more to do. This is just one of the dark parts of the trail where you have to depend on you Creator and all the friends, love-ones along with your Guardian Angels and inspired professionals. We all have to fulfill our destiny and no one said it would be easy."

"It was really good of you to come the other night in spite of feeling so bad. It helps us to come to terms with things if we can see you and talk to you direct."

"Thanks for the message on Friday it was great to hear you sounding so much more positive. I always love seeing you but I was especially pleased to be there for you when you really needed it."


"Could you also send Timbo a big hug for me - I know this one affects both of you."

"I was really sorry to hear from Tim that your biopsy was positive. I hope you are managing to come to terms with it - it's a shock at first I'm sure but then a case of thinking positive about the treatment you'll get - there's no reason why it can't be treated successfully and in the long term the drugs you can take can prevent future problems. As I think I mentioned to you when we spoke, my Mum had breast cancer 20 years ago now at the age of 42. In those days the treatment was fairly standard - an operation and chemo (which she didn't complete because it made her very sick). In her case though, she was one of the early users of the drug Tamoxifen which she took for about 15 years and as a result has not had a recurrence since. Everyone at work is missing you but don't rush back!! Make sure you're ready when the time comes."