Diagnosis in writing

I received my diagnosis in writing from my oncologist, Richard today:
Local recurrent invasive ductal cancer of the right breast
Management: Wide local excision April 2000 followed by right total mastectomy October 2005 and nodal sampling PT1 G2 NO (0/3) ER/PR positive
Further management: AC chemotherapy, Zoladex +Aromatase inhibition

It’s very strange to see it in writing, so clinical and exact. Not quite right though as the first time around was in situ cancer rather than invasive, but I’ll forgive Richard as it makes no difference to the ‘management’ now.

I’m now relieved that I went through chemotherapy. The words ‘invasive’ and ‘recurrent’ = serious shit, something not to be messed with. I now know that I have done absolutely everything that I can to beat this. I have had my right tit cut off, have lost my fertility, have taken a cocktail of drugs intravenously and am rattling with pills. I have no hair, no eyebrows, no eyelashes and no libido. I remain optimistic that these things will return, but it’s been a hard journey and one that I do not want to repeat. Not ever. But I can now continue the rest of my hopefully hairy life confident that if the cancer ever does make a reappearance, that it will be against all the odds and in the face of aggressive treatment. My odds haven’t been good thus far, but I remain the optimist!